Is it normal to miss the abuser?

Read a true-life experience...

When you grow up in a toxic environment, it is not always bad you know.

I mean, there are days when an alcoholic father would come home bearing gifts.

There were nights that overbearing mom would cover you with warm clothes.

Honestly, things are not always bad with a narcissist- but their good is tactical- with an agenda- with a motive.

In 2020, when I was first separated from an ex, I moved to Osogbo.

I missed my ex for how he would help with the kids in the morning- even when he would still hurl abusive words at me.

Whenever I felt like returning, I reminded myself of the many hurtful experiences.

I already made a list of these things- and I would pick up my journal and say them out loud, just in case my emotions were getting the best of me.

2020 I arrived in the US, and yes, I missed intimacy badly.

I know you can relate, especially if you have ever been with a sexually active ex.

I mean one with such an uncontrollable urge for sex- that reels you in like a drug that goes straight to your skull.

Oh, you will miss them. You will miss them a lot.

Even a bad habit can be missed!

It is even way easy to miss what is not healthy, or not good for us.

Navigating the first year of separating from an abuser can be tough, and you do not have to do so alone. Keep tabs on

ideyforyou

, for what is coming for survivors of DV.

In the meantime, when the feeling of loss of the abuser, or a slight feeling of loneliness creeps in, turn the music up and dance.

Take a walk.

Do something else that makes your heart glad.

Have you ever missed the ex or abuser?

How does/did that feel? What do/did you do?

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